Friday, 17 April 2015

The Holy Mountain

"We live surrounded by an endless multitude of mysteries. But no matter how enigmatic may be the mysteries which surround being, what is most enigmatic and disturbing is that mystery in general exists."

-Lev Shestov, Athens and Jerusalem 











Wednesday, 15 April 2015

"I encourage anybody not to work. I say slack off."


This was meant to be a Jesse Pinkman outfit but it became a general 90s slacker period drama outfit

Also I look like a gross zombie!

Also I have messed up legs because of eds and other things and i tried to photoshop them and now they look weirder!

Also I'm wearing boxer shorts as regular shorts!

Also my socks say awesome which is v 90s slacker vibe.

Also!


I have Jake Dr Martens!

I took lots of photos unwrapping them because milk teeth apparently moonlights as a #commodityfetish blog:





gunter brus is not an artist conventionally attached to the word 'vibes' but u see it too don't you??

these were my old ones btw:


and here's a ridiculously earnest tumblr post on the subject:


like calm down past beth lol

And here's a really unsettling journal entry i did when i was suicidal:


but yeah slight detour there...

***slacker culture! ***

i'm feeling it! even tho generation x is corny!

and yes there are loads of shitty guardian think pieces written by ppl who 1. HAVE JOBS and 2. are old about how hard it is to be young but like fuck that?

grayson perry in g2 talking about youth culture and the arts has me all:

nope
nope
no thank you
wrong number

so I'm thinking about social mobility (social stagnation?) and creativity as i've quietly accepted that culturally i am in a place when i am too poor and too mentally ill to ever really thrive and (deja vu!) too mentally ill to have any interest in making anything right now.

 like without an incentive anyway

 considering my work has been consistently shot in the face which sounds cute and self righteous (like omg im so misunderstood!) but it's just really boring?! 

but like that's ok! 

i don't wanna be a piss baby and to quote Murakami:

 'Don't feel sorry for yourself. 


Only 

assholes do that.' 

so my solution is...to quote that stoned nirvana interview...

slack off!




^^ a la the regular show, a cartoon im feeling in my bones also they're 23 and i'm 23 and i like these tenuous connections ^^


I'm interested in what it means to be a working class kid, a second generation bb, post Oxbrige, when the pressure is so painful and the outcome is so little.

and in that empty place i do not intend to fill it with poetics or painting, i intend to fill it with cartoons and jelly beans and video games and taking naps in the middle of the day and psychosis and medication that looks like mermaid eggs and microwave popcorn and regretting, regretting sobriety when you needed to use up those units of substance abuse for your early twenties. 

do not take drugs in you teens you might need them later

and speak slowly like a cartoon slacker but because words are wasted.

or do not speak at all.

no one is listening anyway quite frankly