Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham.

This scene? This scene! This scene! Depression is inherently unoriginal, the only original thing I have to say on the matter. (HAHAHA) Depression is unoriginal, this is why David Foster Wallace is very, very, popular, this why he is so popular when no one has READ him, reading does not happen when you're depressed (too much effort/not enough motivation). Other people's words are a good medium for depression: quotes, the reblog butt(on). There is a manuscript on my laptop (mine) that I should probably read (I won't). I finished it a year and a half ago, long time! I thought I was going to be an actual writer then, a novelist, awards (nobel/noble) delusional is an insult but psychosis and unwarrantedly high self esteem are two different beasts, though I have experienced them both in equal measures. I have written novels and dissertations and clever essays but write now the only thing I want to write is another person's quote. I do not feel creative, the tiniest violin because who cares, I care! (No one cares that you care tho?) But better consume another person's cult of personality than cultivate your own, cultivate your own and watch it tumbleweed, that shit's depression. Jesus. Save yourself the trouble. Because the rhythm of heart is saying fuck you pay me and I just can't stop pulling my hair out.

Silas Inoue/Springsteen school photo/I like America and America likes me, Joseph Beuys

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