Saturday, 24 January 2015

Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!

[cw: gifs and also food]

The Guardian claimed the colour of the 'noughties' (a term as cringe-worthy and affected as the 'millennial') was....wait for it.... 

 A statement though not entirely persuasive (despite the evidence of the shiny silver macbook pro and what not to suggest otherwise)...I mean I don't give too much weight to colour theory, so shifting...and so creepy...even if it is fun to think about, and the simplistic unity of a generation as disparate as this one is not gonna happen. 


If we are going for definitive...stuff we could talk about something more fun! Like I love food, I love reading about food, I like food shaped items, food themed kitsch, I am a recovering anorexic so am perhaps (ok i am) unhealthily obsessed with food. And if by broadsheet standards the food-y manifestation of pre-recession Britain (and perhaps the US too) was the cupcake, ornate! Useless! The kind of creation that would order one of those organic food baskets back in 2006! (Wait the cupcake is ordering food how does this analogy work??) 

Okay, ahem moving on.

The food of recession, the incarnation of a collective ideology of dorks who spend way too much time on tumblr and not enough time outside (or is that just me?) is....

(drum roll please)....

--**--THE EGG--**--

(the fried egg if you want to be specific)

Gif from the blog egg aesthetic (which yes I am absolutely obsessed with, also isn't this gif hypnotic as well as kind of gross?...visceral??)

The egg is the daisy of the food world, the white wall gallery of the English fry up, it is a gloopy and blobby, a protein rich incarnation of my suicidal ideation, eggs are cheap...and a bit shit (like me). The egg is white (and the catwalks love the colour white), the egg looks good on a 'pale' blog, the egg looks good alongside the word aesthetic. Fuck! a fried egg is the living, wibbly wobbly incarnation of the word aesthetic! It is the glow cloud that Cecil says "all hail" to. The egg is deadpan. The egg is distant. The egg has multiple tumblr followers and reblogs multiples pictures of plants. The egg liked that Blood Orange album you just couldn't get into. The egg's image is sold in a bunch of accessories but it's not gonna sue like Rihanna coz it's too lazy (and broke) to get a lawyer.

Carole Itter, Raw Egg Costume1974, again from that glorious egg blog!!

The egg is unemployed.
And is currently housed in their childhood bedroom.

(Face down on the floor)
The egg is a fuck up but is fun to get high with

Like super fun

The egg makes bad choices
And does not eat enough fruit and vegetables

* another time can we talk about the fact this a buzzfeed post written by the cheese cake factory???

The episode of Grandma's house where Simon Amstell writes a crappy existential play about eggs is a good example of the egg mentality.

Though of course none can compare to:



Gudetama is to Milk Teeth what Chansey is to Doll Hospital

I mean the dude pretty much has no will to live

He can't even get out of bed

And I appreciate that

I feel that


So sorry Lena D you've been trumped twice, coz if Polar Bear Cafe is the only show that I'm -*-*-vaguely ok-*-*- describing as millenial (I SAID VAGUELY) then Gudetama is a fucking voice of a generation lol.

Allen Ginsberg style.

But, y'kno not a terrible human being.

(More of a hopeless egg)

1 comment:

  1. Love how of all the colours they chose GREY. Guardian loves 'em Millenials :) xoxo